i want to do something significant

so this blog kind of goes against a conversation that sam, meredith and i had about blogs, (kind of embarrassed to admit that we had a conversation about blogs) but this is going to be a serious one. this also goes against my policy to talk about my mission as little as possible, not because i didn't love my mission, but because i feel like that's all that rm's talk about and it's kind of nauseating.

one of the biggest lessons that i learned on my mission is what true humility is. humility is realizing one's dependence on the Lord for anything and everything and being able to recognize that he is the true source of all of our strengths and the only way that we can truly overcome our weaknesses. hence, as we become humble, our weaknesses can become our strengths. too often in the church we think that simply denying or down playing our God-given abilities is humility. this is the antithises of humility. not realizing what God has blessed you with does not make you humble, it only robs you of future opportunities to be blessed. it makes you ungrateful. ammon knew what humility was when he said that he doesn't boast of himself, but of his God. humility is realizing that you have been blessed with those specific traits to help better the world and also realizing that others strengths are your weaknesses and vice versa.

staying consistent with above definition of humility, i recognize that the Lord has blessed me with a creative mind. i think that i problem solve well. i think that at times i can be innovative. or maybe creative would suffice.

but with acknowledgement of my strengths comes an even more obtrusive weakness, that i often don't have the drive to carry out these ideas.

so what spurred this blog? i was eating one of my 16 boxes of cereal this morning, watching some podcasts, and there was a fairly new one from 'invisible children'. basically the jist of each of the videos is the same. present a new idea or project that they are working on in a aesthetically pleasing and 'call to action' sort of way. every time that i watch them, i am reinspired to change the world, or at least do something significant. i have this reoccuring complex that i'm not accomplishing anything significant. i feel like i'm always taking personal strides forward, but not really accomplishing anything of redeeming value to society.

over the break, i went to peru on a humanitarian trip. the most amazing 2 weeks of my life. my mission would be the best collective experience, but as an isolated 2 weeks, peru takes the cake. i don't think i've felt that much love and desire to help other people in such a concentrated way. and i definitely haven't felt it reciprocated like i have from those children.


from that trip, i gained inspiration. i gained a love for people.

with the return from my trip, that inspiration and love quickly waivered as i engrossed myself with academic and social pursuits. i have had a consistent nagging that i need to do something. today is the day that i decide. i am doing something. perfect opportunity and reason has come up as the orphange that i worked for has adopted 5 new children and is going to be needing to build a third dorm. they need money.

so i'm going to be doing some fun(d)raisers. hopefully enjoyable. hopefully profitable. hopefully getting people involved. there's a sense of self worth that accompanies service that i think that everyone needs to feel. so look alive. if you were patient enough to actually read this blog, i assume that it's something that you yourself are also feeling. and i want/need help.

i love life and am too blessed to look the other way. are born agains the only ones who can say thank the Lord? well, at any rate, thank the Lord.

on a side note, i just drank the milk from my cereal, and it went down the wrong tube and i almost coughed cereal all over my laptop. but luckily i didn't.